From Infant Anxiety to Substance Abuse

The premise of this short essay is founded on recognizing the importance of interpersonal interactions and the impact it may have on a child’s emotional development within the context of anxiety and later consequential substance use. I will address the primary caregiver as “mother”, but the caregiver may be anyone who oversees the infant, toddler, young child, teenager, and young adult’s emotional security.

The Interpersonal Realm of the Infant

From an interpersonal perspective, our sense of who we presently are is intricately reflected in our relationships with others and deeply woven within the fabric of social interactions. These initial relationships become of central importance to our individual personality, and it is during this aspect of our development that our basic sense of self is established. Our self-awareness is enmeshed and interwoven within the complex social structures which make up our life from infancy onward.

Initially, our personality develops within the home, traditionally, as a function of our interactions and relationships with our parents. These relationships are called “interpersonal” and first develops during infancy. The quality of these interactions is so powerful, that they may provide clues as to one possible explanation regarding the child’s later involvement with drugs and/or alcohol and it may all revolve around the meaning the child gave to those relationships and in how it affected his sense of self-worth. It would only make sense that because we learn to relate to others early on, we retain that view of the world. If we feel the world is a bad place it’s because the environment where our feelings developed was a bad place.

Infant Anxiety and Later Substance Use

By the age of three babies experience a significant amount of emotional learning and acquire the ability to recognize how impactful their emotions are on others. During this stage of infant growth, supporting the child’s development of healthy emotional responses should be one of the many goals of the mother as these impressionable experiences create a framework for cultivating the infant’s emotional security thereby lessening anxiety.

If the mother has not created a comforting and reassuring environment the infant will experience an emotional void and will live in a state of increased emotional discomfort. It is critical for parents to be informed regarding how the development of coping mechanisms affect the infant. If for example, during situations where consistent emotional assault on the infant is present in the form abandonment, yelling, ignoring the infant’s needs and overall neglect, anxiety will be high and consistent.

If the mother separates herself emotionally by intentionally or unintentionally pulling away, the infant’s interpretation is that of separation from security leaving him to feel alone and vulnerable. This type of vulnerability, in the form of emotional and physical abandonment, is then experienced as intense anxiety and remains embedded in the infant’s psyche, later identified as trauma, which is at the root of many of the issues that addicts suffer through.

When the infant, toddler, young child, teenager, and young adult have experienced poor or non-existent interpersonal relationships with its mother, emotional security and growth are stunted. Therefore, many addicts are emotionally immature and unable to cope with the stressors of adult life and anxiety remains persistent.

Even mothers who proudly say “I have done everything for my child” are demonstrating poor mothering by not having taught the child the necessary skills to survive in the adult world, leaving the addict helpless to make correct decisions, to take care of themselves, to be able to function on their own and behave in an adult manner. As they live encased in a personal prison, substances may help to escape the realization of just how incompetent they are in so many areas.

A Psychological Interpretation

Let’s examine the following fictitious scenario and pick apart a situation in which a mother abandoned her son at an early age. He was never loved by any mother figure and never learned any skills necessary for his social survival. His father was around but couldn’t provide the attention he needed. In this scenario, the adult child is now working for a small company where he is unable to perform the most menial of tasks. His poor social skills cause him embarrassment and emotional distress. He eats alone. He isolates himself and basically becomes invisible. He’s in a constant state of anxiety as he finds it difficult to interact with his co-workers and his boss. He can’t be “reached” and eventually gets fired.

There are a few ways to interpret what could be going on, however, given that we’re working within the framework of substance abuse, the connection may not be immediately clear, as superficially, this individual’s interpretation of his bosses’ actions is one of “I can’t do anything right. Everyone hates me”, but when we dig deeper, we begin to realize that his adult and childhood experiences are similar; one of abandonment which causes him to re-experience the feelings of being a non-important entity and of being expendable. The feelings of non-existence around his boss are just like when he “ceased to be” with his mother.

His awareness of “being aware” that he is socially vaporous becomes a threat to his self and no doubt will cause him to experience anxiety; anxiety becoming the trigger and catalyst for using. Substances will then justify his search for relief from the daily confirmation that he can’t exist in a social world when faced with basic tasks and responsibilities of daily life.

We can now begin to understand how anxiety takes on a personal meaning and informs us that “something” is there or is lacking. For many addicts, anxiety represents a type of deeply rooted alienation and loss of basic emotional security that threatens the addicts very existence. What should have been never existed. What is now isn’t good enough. Sadly, none of this needed to come to fruition had mom been aware of just how much she was needed.

©2023 Denise M Frank PhD